The Thoughts

AMARS - Addictions, Mental Health, Anger, Rehabilitation Services Inc.

Category: Psychotherapy

What Is Positivity?

To begin, I would like to clear out some common myths about positivity so that you are able to truly foster a positive attitude that actually helps you surpass the many challenges that roll up in your life and can help you lead a meaningful and fulfilling life.

First, positivity is not about always smiling and being cheery. Positive thinking is not about always laughing and being upbeat, because sadness and anger are a natural part of human emotions, rather a positive mindset is a tool that helps you look for the hope and better aspects of situations so that you are able to cope and deal more easily with tough situations.

In relation to the point above, it is important to conquer the myth that “positivity solves nothing, it is just a distraction” Because of the way positivity is displayed as a never-ending smile, no wonder people think positivity is phony and fake. It must be understood that positivity is not about covering up our problems and struggles by over-exaggerating the good point. Real positive thinking is rather reframing our perspective to gain a clearer view of the events in front of us so that you are able to take action rationally and responsibly for the better.

Thirdly, positivity is not a shield that will protect you from bad things. Many people gave up trying to be positive because they had this misconception that positive thinking would take away all their worries. Positive thinking helps you remain dedicated and optimistic when under the dark clouds but in no way can promise that the dark clouds will never appear because evidently, we have no control over the way this world works. Positive thinking provides us with the willingness to use coping skills during such hardships and times of stress.

Misinformation can truly blind us to life’s most important truths and experiences, so hopefully, by busting these myths and giving answers to common misconceptions you were able to better understand what positivity means and are eager to foster into your perspective. Positivity is the act of training your brain to think and respond to situations optimistically and calmly. It does indeed seem flaky and simple, but this is once again something we do, and rightfully so, takes time and conscious effort every day. But the rewards are certainly worth it.

Perhaps you need some more reasons to think positively, well here goes…

The Mayo Clinic even shares that researchers are continuously exploring the effects of positive thinking on our health; some proven health benefits of positive thinking include:

  • Increased life span
  • Lower rates of depression
  • Lower levels of distress
  • Greater resistance to the common cold
  • Better psychological and physical well-being
  • Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease

Here is some more rewarding news: People with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive outlook were one-third less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook, concluded a finding from Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek, M.P.H. 

For more information or if you have any comments or feedback, feel free to contact us!
We know that these times aren’t easy, but we are here to help you!

A.R.T for Anxiety

Even as a therapist, I get anxious at times, why is that? Because it is natural! Now you may be wondering why? Why is it natural to be feeling anxious? Why am I getting bombarded by negative thoughts when I am anxious? Why don’t I get these negative thoughts at a state of relaxation? Well because these negative thoughts are caused by our brains “Fight or Flight” response. It is our brain’s way of reacting to stress and making us aware and alert of potential danger. Think of it as a caution sign. Many times, before a session, especially with a new client, I get anxious, wondering how I can help them best and give the most qualitative treatment.

When I have ten minutes left for a new session, I get anxious about how I will finish the case notes from the session before! Is this harming me? No, not at all, it’s a quiet alarm that lasts for ten seconds, and then because I have turned it into my motivation, it is encouraging me to solve the problem, make a plan and spur into action. It is natural, we all go through it.

But if that small alarm turns into a dark cloud that sucks you in, creating physical symptoms, dry mouth, palpitations, drowsiness, shivering, numbing, etc. this slow overwhelming of anxiety is crossing the line and going into the disorder part of anxiety.

So how can you avoid this cycle? 

There are many tools and strategies, here is one of them that I really want to share with you.

ART (Ask, Replace and Turn) 

Even the abbreviation sounds nice, doesn’t it? When we think about art, it leads us to creativity and imagination, color, beauty, positive outcomes, happiness, and an expression of feelings. And that is what this tool is all about. So now let me elaborate.

A: ASK

First, you need to ask yourself some questions.

Do I really need this thought? Will I be able to do this? Do I need to ruin my day? Do I need to focus on this now? Is this a need? Do I need to allow myself to get demotivated? 

You need to hit your conscious and subconscious mind by exploring the thoughts and emotions that are causing you to worry. This can be done once again by asking questions:

Why am I worried? Do I need to worry?  

Remember to ask yourself these questions out loud or write them down. Because when you say aloud from your mouth, your ears are listening, when you write it down you are reading it and you gain more clarity. It’s a whole reflection session, so even if you are asking questions that may be negative, you are taking it all out and so you aren’t going into the negative cycle, rather you are consciously putting efforts to think realistically and rationally.

 

R: Replace

When we hear the word replace, we have quite a simple concept of it: making something take the place of something else. We do it quite often, replacing the furniture in the living room because it has gotten too shabby, or replacing a word in our report because it doesn’t sound right, or replacing our work area so we can be more productive. And this step is based upon that same concept.

Now take the same questions asked from the step above and replace them with positive thoughts. You will be replacing thoughts of worry with organized thoughts by asking yourself:

Do I have time? When can I fit this extra task into my routine? How can I best reorganize my day? What are the benefits of doing this? Will this help me in the future? Do I need to ask someone for help? 

This is more solution-based thinking in which one by one you can replace the negative imagery and worry with positive ideation. While it may seem that this tool is all up in air, it is not. For more scientific proof, you may also read the scientific research paper published by Elsevier about “The power of positive thinking: Pathological worry is reduced by thought replacement in Generalized Anxiety Disorder” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4760272/)

 

T: TURN 

Now like any other tool, this is not a magic potion, so by turn, it is not meant that you will be able to turn the situation around, because that is not possible. If you are anxious while standing in front of a large crowd, you will not suddenly disappear. Rather, in this step, you will be turning your perception and focus on your action.

How? By changing the direction of your thoughts from entering the cycle of worry and panic thoughts, you need to point yourself towards a state of calm. You may ask; how do I do that? Do not worry, here are a few tips. Firstly, take a deep breath, then another, and if you can one more. Attend to your breath, by closing your eyes and feeling the refreshment as the air enters your body and a release of your tensions as the air leaves. Many times, people really underestimate the power of taking a deep breath, as you may be right now. Deep breathing, as we are all aware of, increases the supply of oxygen to our brain. What now? Well, this stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system (one part of our nervous system that controls our rest and relax response), which in turn promotes a state of calmness. According to Dr. Tania Elliott of NYU Langone Health to “overcome the unhealthy day-to-day stress response,” you should practice this type of breathing daily, and not just when you are feeling stressed. I tell this to all my clients, so why only try fixing worry thoughts, when we can try to prevent the worry thoughts from going too far in the first place. You may also go to the washroom and drink some water.

 

Apart from actually using this coping strategy, the main takeaway should be to NEVER suppress your anxiety! Whether you use this tool, other coping strategies, or go seek professional help, the goal should not be to make it go away. Because that is unrealistic and technically dangerous. Rather the goal is to develop mechanisms to handle it, minimize anxiety, cope with it, and get on with life. So that anxiety only serves the purpose of keeping you alert, motivated, and obviously, safe, without it becoming the element that is blocking you from reaching your full potential.

I really hope this helped you in some way!
For any questions or concerns feel free to contact me!

3 Keys to Happiness in Daily Life

It doesn’t take a whole new routine to instill a dose of happiness into your day—but it does take a little self awareness.

1. Be grateful for the good & the bad.

Research shows, grateful people are happy people. It’s also important to understand that happiness is not the absence of negative feelings. Gratitude is a focus on the present and appreciation for what we have now, rather than wanting more. Embracing gratitude, as a state of mind, can have a positive affect on all aspects of life including our happiness and overall satisfaction.

Up your mood by taking a moment daily to think of your world with gratitude. Start a gratitude journal or take a walk in nature paying attention to all the gifts around us. Think of a person that helps you on a daily or weekly basis – a spouse, parent, friend, pet, teacher, cleaner, or babysitter.

Quiz: How grateful are you? Take the Gratitude Quiz published by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

2. Flex your creativity muscles.

Do you have a passion or hobby? It doesn’t have to be a formal activity, simply engaging in creative thinking can enhance well-being by enhancing cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities. A recent study out of New Zealand, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology explains that creative activities can trigger an “upward spiral” of well-being.

“Practicing an art — no matter how well or badly — is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut.

Make some space in your day to create, even if it’s just for the sake of it. Try exploring unique textures or even natural and recycled materials to make something for your home or a friend. Looking for some tips on how to add more creativity into your daily life? Read this list of 101 creative habits to explore.

3. Get connected, Stay connected.

Being apart of something larger than yourself can help bring perspective as well as a sense of belonging. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that feeling like you belong and generally feel close to other people is a core psychological need; essential to feeling satisfied with your life. The pleasures of social life register in our brains much the same way physical pleasure does.

So take the time to nurture a friendship that is important to you. Make an extra effort to show you care, send a card, make a plan to have lunch, or give them a call and really listen to what they say. Smile and say hello to a stranger. Tell a story when someone asks how your day is going. Notice how you feel when you share something with someone new.

Struggling and need support? Join a support group and talk to others that can relate. Find your tribe: support.therapytribe.com – a free online support community brought to you by TherapyTribe.

TherapyTribe - Wellness Tracker Tip: Check out the wellness tracker. It’s a simple but powerful tool designed to help you remember the promises you make to yourself. As you complete wellness activities your tree will blossom, and so will you!

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