The Thoughts

AMARS - Addictions, Mental Health, Anger, Rehabilitation Services Inc.

Tag: Happiness

4 Steps to Strong Communication

Steps to Strong Communication for

A Strong Relationship

 

  1. Tone speaks more than words!

Imagine getting your favorite flavored cake, but the icing was just disturbingly unappealing, you wouldn’t even want to cut into the cake and try it? Right? So even though we should all live by that quote “never judge a book by its cover”, it’s quite difficult to decipher words from the tone they are wrapped up in. Because tone is the sound of our emotions.

But while it seems simple to be able to control our tone, it takes a lot of conscious efforts as the tone of voice often conveys more accurately what we are feeling and what is on our mind, than our actual words do. In other words, our tone tells the truth even when our words do not, even when we are unaware of that truth ourselves. Unfortunately, the tone is what others respond to first. Reflect: Have you ever said “I love you” in a frustrated manner that provokes bitterness and then innocently wonder why you are being repelled and unfairly attacked by the person to whom you’ve said it too. quite rightly responds to our tone rather than our words. And this happens often and is seriously damaging your relationships. Therefore, while we speak, it is incredibly important to listen to our voice, so that we are able to monitor our tone and adjust it to get our point across. Also, be authentic with your words, so if you are mad, use your words to convey that message, rather than saying nice things while your tone tries to push out your real emotions.

  1. Your choice of words can make all the difference!

Small adjustments in your choice of words from negative to positive can make all the difference in the response you are likely to get.

Consider this: You work hard to cook a meal, but you added a bit less salt, making the dish slightly bland. What response would you prefer?

“Eeewww, that is disgusting!”

Or

“Thanks for your hard work in preparing this dish, but I feel if you added more salt it would have tasted better”

You probably prefer the second phrase, right? Now, what is the difference? The difference is in the words!

  1. Pay attention to body language, it makes a point…

Body language is the use of physical behavior, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate nonverbally, often done instinctively rather than consciously. The way you sit, the way you tilt your head, and the way you fold your arms all communicate strong messages. They can either put people at ease, build trust, display love, and draw others towards you, or they can attack, offend, confuse, and undermine the message you are trying to convey. For example, if you are trying to make someone feel better, rather than have your arms crossed and sitting at the other corner of the room, you may want to hold their hand, look them in the eye and tilt your head to show feelings of compassion and care.

  1. Stop the words and bring out the ears…

Apart from the way listening makes the other person feel, it is as pertinent for you in understanding their part of the conversation. Effective listening can mitigate misunderstandings and confusion. Remember that listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing just refers to the sound entering your ears, so just the physical process that happens automatically. But listening is more than that, it calls for both focus and effort. Listening is indeed paying attention to what is being said, but also the way it is being said. Going back to the tone of voice, vocabulary, and body language discussed above, while you listen you must pay attention to these 3 things and analyze the underlying meaning. For example, by analyzing one’s body language you can pick up on negative cues that they may be hiding or may even be unaware of while they speak. These negative cues can include crossed arms, poor eye contact, tense facial expressions, and a body turned away from you. Also as mentioned above, our tone of voice conveys what we are actually feeling, and so Being able to demonstrate that you have picked up on these cues and then reciprocate them with appropriate gestures, the other person truly feels that you are indeed listening, quite intuitively strengthening your relationship.

5 Tips to Optimize Productivity at Home

My‌ ‌home‌ ‌is‌ ‌my “comfy‌ ‌zone” ‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌am‌ ‌pretty‌ ‌sure‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌all‌ ‌relate‌ ‌to‌ ‌that, ‌ ‌it’s‌ ‌where‌ ‌we‌ ‌land‌ ‌after‌ ‌a‌ ‌full‌ ‌day‌ ‌of‌ ‌flying‌ ‌around‌ ‌and‌ ‌working. ‌‌But‌ ‌now‌ ‌as‌ ‌the‌ ‌preventive‌ ‌measures‌ ‌for‌ ‌Covid-19‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌bestowed‌ ‌upon‌ ‌us, ‌‌my‌ ‌home‌ has now also become my‌ ‌full-time‌ ‌office, ‌ ‌as‌ ‌is‌ ‌for‌ ‌many‌ ‌others‌ ‌over‌ ‌the‌ ‌world. ‌ ‌Evidently, ‌ ‌there‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌ ‌no‌ ‌reason‌ ‌to‌ ‌complain,‌ ‌as‌ ‌social‌ ‌distancing‌ ‌is‌ ‌as‌ ‌deemed‌ ‌by‌ ‌the‌ ‌CDC‌ (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)  “the‌ ‌best‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌reduce‌ ‌the‌ ‌spread‌ ‌of‌ ‌coronavirus‌ ‌disease”. (https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/social-distancing.html) ‌ ‌Nevertheless, ‌ ‌it‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌to‌ ‌adjust‌ ‌to working at home and achieving the desired productivity levels. So today, let me share with you some tips and techniques based on personal experience and professional expertise.

  1. Plan the Night Before

I highly recommend you make a list of things you would like to complete the next day and a few goals that you have as well before you go to sleep. This way your mind does not wander while you sleep and the following day you already are prepared mentally with the tasks needed to complete, making it easier for you to get into the “work” zone. Also, by having the list at hand, throughout the day you are able to check off the tasks that you have completed, each check on the list will make you even more motivated to complete the next. This motivation will quite obviously help you be highly productive.

  1. Minimizing Distraction

Many times, while working it is not like we choose to become distracted or scroll through our phone, but our mind likes to make us things about things that make us feel good. Such as our children, strangers on social media, and perhaps the new ice cream that is sitting in our fridge waiting to be eaten. But all these interruptions whether they be our kids, social media, or our own mindly wanderings, end up breaking the attention and work zone, so once this focus and motivation are lost, consequently so is the productivity. Some key ways to minimize distraction are to choose a desk setup that is in a quieter area of your house, let your family members know your routine so that they are able to respect your work hours, and keep your phone farther than an arm’s reach away from you. Waking up early is one of the main ways to minimize distractions as early in the morning the mind is fresh, alert, and does less wandering around. The morning hours are also naturally quieter, once again minimizing distractions. Waking up early is a common technique used by successful people for this very reason, nevertheless dependent on your household, work timings, and personal health.

  1. Create a Routine

This can not be said enough from me, but please, make a routine for yourself that designates your separate work times and break times. It is pertinent for our brain to know which times slots are allotted for certain tasks so that our brain spends more time focusing on doing the work rather than deciding when to do the work. We only have so much fuel in our creativity, so by having a routine that we follow consistently, we are able to develop more creativity and insights when completing our tasks. In addition, we can stay relaxed and go through our day with flow, as a routine turns all the chaos of our day and makes it more controlled and organized. A routine also allows us to move throughout our day with momentum and efficiency as not only do we have goals, but our priorities have already been set and so have the timings, this forces our brain to stick to the schedule and complete all the tasks we set out to complete. Midst completing all our work, a routine is a perfect way for us to take breaks, exercise, and spend time on self-care. In fact, that is the next step for optimized productivity.

  1. Treat Yourself with Care 

It’s been instilled in our minds for too long that self-care is a luxury, a big part of that is because of social media, endorsing spas and long baths filled to the rim with bubbles and women that have cucumbers in their eyes as self-care techniques. And while that is a completely fine way of caring for ourselves, I am just not sure how realistic that is in our daily lives, but I do credit a warm bath with some Epsom salt for having its effects in relieving muscle and joint pain. However, “taking a bath” is not the only form of self-care, and probably the least efficient in the busy lifestyle we all have and certainly not the aid for our mental well being. Everyday ways of self-care are, treating yourself with kindness, taking necessary breaks, saying NO when there is already too much on your plate, exercising your body, getting proper sleep, nourishing yourself with healthy food and adequate water, doing some journal writing, and once again being understanding and warm towards yourself. Additionally, a key technique for self-care is mindfulness, which keeps us aware, focused, and present midst a busy day. One of the most common forms of mindfulness is meditation, and I highly recommend that you try it. Another technique is deep breathing. All of these self-care techniques in way form or the other keep us at a mental state of relax and awareness, which helps us focus on our work, problem solve any difficulties that may arise, keep us energized, gives us a way to break away from stressful situations, and improves cognitive function. It is evident that all these reasons come back to efficiency and you being positively productive throughout your day when working at home.

  1. Avoid Multitasking 

As a working mother, I completely understand that we have many responsibilities at hand, and choosing between our kids, cleaning, professional work, and preparing food is just not possible. Going back to routine, if we have set timings written down for all daily activities, which includes work, cleaning, cooking, eating, breaks and exercise, our mind will wander less and help us achieve our goals. Many of us find that switching back and forth between tabs on our laptop and working on a file and listening to a lecture at the same time would be more productive. Unfortunately, that is not true, divided attention reduces our performance on both the tasks. We have a limited amount of attention that we can give to the world around us and when it runs out, we must drop something. Just the way our computer only takes one command at a time. Can you press 2 letter keys at once? So rather, work on one task with your full attention and then move on to the next. Along with being more productive and efficient, you will be able to get the tasks completed to the best of your ability.

 

To conclude, this is a new lifestyle that we all must get used to, so hopefully, these 5 tips will help you be more productive…

 

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3 Keys to Happiness in Daily Life

It doesn’t take a whole new routine to instill a dose of happiness into your day—but it does take a little self awareness.

1. Be grateful for the good & the bad.

Research shows, grateful people are happy people. It’s also important to understand that happiness is not the absence of negative feelings. Gratitude is a focus on the present and appreciation for what we have now, rather than wanting more. Embracing gratitude, as a state of mind, can have a positive affect on all aspects of life including our happiness and overall satisfaction.

Up your mood by taking a moment daily to think of your world with gratitude. Start a gratitude journal or take a walk in nature paying attention to all the gifts around us. Think of a person that helps you on a daily or weekly basis – a spouse, parent, friend, pet, teacher, cleaner, or babysitter.

Quiz: How grateful are you? Take the Gratitude Quiz published by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

2. Flex your creativity muscles.

Do you have a passion or hobby? It doesn’t have to be a formal activity, simply engaging in creative thinking can enhance well-being by enhancing cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities. A recent study out of New Zealand, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology explains that creative activities can trigger an “upward spiral” of well-being.

“Practicing an art — no matter how well or badly — is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut.

Make some space in your day to create, even if it’s just for the sake of it. Try exploring unique textures or even natural and recycled materials to make something for your home or a friend. Looking for some tips on how to add more creativity into your daily life? Read this list of 101 creative habits to explore.

3. Get connected, Stay connected.

Being apart of something larger than yourself can help bring perspective as well as a sense of belonging. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that feeling like you belong and generally feel close to other people is a core psychological need; essential to feeling satisfied with your life. The pleasures of social life register in our brains much the same way physical pleasure does.

So take the time to nurture a friendship that is important to you. Make an extra effort to show you care, send a card, make a plan to have lunch, or give them a call and really listen to what they say. Smile and say hello to a stranger. Tell a story when someone asks how your day is going. Notice how you feel when you share something with someone new.

Struggling and need support? Join a support group and talk to others that can relate. Find your tribe: support.therapytribe.com – a free online support community brought to you by TherapyTribe.

TherapyTribe - Wellness Tracker Tip: Check out the wellness tracker. It’s a simple but powerful tool designed to help you remember the promises you make to yourself. As you complete wellness activities your tree will blossom, and so will you!

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