Category: Positivity

Finding Happiness in the Present

A few weeks ago, I was on Facebook, and my whole feed was filled with my relatives and friends, along with celebrities going to the Maldives, to weddings, to parties, to Quebec and Alberta (I am in Ontario), and eating at cute restaurants. Their scenic and fun-filled photos made me quite sad, realizing that I was just at home.

But then I took a moment to take a few deep breaths. And realized where my mind was heading. I took a moment to go through my thoughts and answer their queries and worries. Reminding myself that it is my decision not to go on vacation to keep my family, myself, and others safe from COVID-19. Reminding myself that I could not afford a month-long vacation because I had clients to see and people to help. Then I looked around my house and reflected on things I was grateful for. Reminding myself that I had such a comfy couch with a television that I can relax on. Reminding myself that I had a bookshelf full of books, of which many had not been read in a while. Reminding myself that I had a fridge stocked up with yummy treats. Reminding myself that I had so many board games and puzzles to tackle. And reminding myself that at home I was surrounded by my awesome family, whom I love very much and enjoy spending time with. This mental gratitude list made me smile from cheek to cheek.

Yes, gratitude matters!

Then instead of thinking about what plans for vacation, I missed before Covid-19, or what plans I could make for after Covid-19, I worked on what I could do now. For example, I was missing the nature and exploration aspect of traveling, so my family and I began going on morning walks. Doing this helped me appreciate the moment I was living in and find satisfaction in it, resulting in me feeling internally happy.

And that is one of the main reasons why living in the present is so important. It leaves no room for you to remorse the past or continuously plans what you must do or want to do in the future. Allowing you to be content as you experience life as it comes your way and enjoy those moments for what they are.

Other reasons why living in the present moment can help you achieve happiness, peace, and joy, which are all key for better mental wellbeing.

As you actively make yourself more aware of the experiences and moments you are in, you will be more appreciative and grateful for the beautiful, people and resources around you. This satisfaction and appreciation lead to more happiness.
As you spend more time living in the present, and less on dwelling on the past, your regrets will begin to fade away and you will be able to forgive and let go of grudges.
These fewer negative thoughts and fewer worries about the past or future will allow you to feel calmer and more peaceful. Helping you lower your stress levels and anxiety.
As you are not constantly distracted by the past or future all the time, you will have more energy to work on the important things in the present, with that comes more focus as well.
This happiness, focus, and appreciation in the now will translate to having healthier relationships, a productive and fulfilling work-life, and physical health benefits. Have a read at this article by Business Insider for 15 more powerful benefits of living in the present.

Perhaps you noticed that in my story, there was a system I followed to bring my mind back to the present. That was: Take 3 deep breaths, answer my thoughts, make a gratitude list, and focus on the solution to my concerns.

This 4-step strategy is one of the strategies I share with my clients to help them come back to the present and rejoice in it, and today I would like to share it with you.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS BLOG!

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, DON’T HESITATE TO CONTACT US!

Appreciation is a Gift to Give

Sharing your appreciation is so much bigger than just “being nice”. When someone feels cared for and appreciated, they feel like their efforts were worth it, they feel like they are valued for who they are, and they feel like their life is worth living. And that is the power of appreciation.

When we look for and find the things we appreciate about others and let them know, that is the biggest gift, for them and for us.

Here is a breakdown of the benefits of showing appreciation:

Feeling genuinely appreciated lifts people up. It makes us feel safe and energized, freeing us to continue giving our best. Think about it, when your value feels unacknowledged or at risk, does that worry become preoccupying? Unfortunately, it does, not receiving appreciation can drain and divert our energy from the things we love doing and sharing. It’s not the expectations, but more the human need to feel valued, loved, and respected.
Similarly, in the workplace, when employees are appreciated it creates a positive work environment and strengthens the relationships between the employees and leaders. In fact, many studies reveal that appreciation is one of the most powerful methods to motivate employees and make them more committed to their jobs, in turn increasing their productivity. A recent poll by a division of TimeJobs.com showed that more than 35% of employees consider lack of recognition of their work as the biggest hindrance to their productivity.
When you acknowledge someone’s value and express that recognition, you are able to forge deeper, fulfilling, and more trusting connections. In fact, Paul J. Zak, a professor at Claremont Graduate University, said that “The neuroscience shows that recognition has the largest effect on trust when it occurs immediately after a goal has been met when it comes from peers, and when it’s tangible, unexpected, personal, and public”. This makes sense, when you personally take the time to praise someone for their efforts, thank someone for their time, express how much they mean to you, and just simply be there for them when they are having a hard time, it shows that you genuinely care.
Actively finding ways to appreciate people may take some hard work and reflection at first but slowly it will change your mindset making you a kinder and more positive person. It becomes quite natural for us to give more attention to the bad qualities, mistakes, mishaps, and failures of others. Always picking people apart blinds us from seeing the strength it took to speak up about the abuse, the hard work it took to improve after their failure, the initiative and creativity it took to innovate and publicize an idea, the kindness it took for them to cook a meal for you and many other brilliant ideas, extra efforts, and meaningful gestures the people around us make.
Showing appreciation means you praise the uniqueness. With this, you become open to new ideas, qualities, and ways of doing things, in turn making you a more creative and innovative person.
You are happier. When you look for the good stuff and are grateful for the beauty around you, you become satisfied with the things that are already in your life, your family, job, money, friends, and home.

Ways to appreciate:

Change your mindset to look for the good in people, and actively find ways to search for unique traits, brilliant ideas, and great work. When you look for it, you will find it!
Parallel to the suggestion above, it’s important for you to learn and absorb positive words. Think about it, if your dictionary consists of a higher volume of kind, respectful and motivating words, you are automatically more inclined to employ them.
Listen to them. As we know time is money, give people your time and let them know that you enjoy their company.
Avoid comparing people to others, respect that the person is their own individual self, and praise or criticize them based on their dreams, not those of others. The biggest of appreciation is motivating people to embrace their true selves and letting them know that who they really are is what you admire about them.
Remember gifts don’t really mean all that much if they are just for the formality, rather let your heart spill out into a small and sweet handwritten note. If your friend or family member is going to have a hard interview, perhaps leave a little note by their water bottle or paperwork that says, “you are capable, you got this!”. Or if someone had a hard day at work, you could leave a little note next to their bed that says, “I am here for you”. And sometimes, no reason is even needed, just humanize the person, and let them know how much they mean to you.

Be ready to learn from them because when you genuinely appreciate someone that means you recognize their good qualities.
Start receiving compliments more graciously. When someone compliments you just reply with a “thank you”, there is no need to get fuzzy about it, force yourself to give one back, or argue with the other person that you do not deserve it. Think about it, someone saw something beautiful in and that is why they expressed their appreciation towards you, so don’t cut yourself down. Until you do not love yourself and celebrate your own qualities, it’s going to be very difficult to genuinely even acknowledge those of others.
Lastly, live in the moment and cherish the little things.

Thank you so much for reading this blog!

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact us!

Be kind!

Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself

Practicing self-care is not always easy, and I understand. Most of us have busy, demanding, and stressful jobs. We have numerous responsibilities at home that leave us exhausted at the end of the day to even think of ourselves. Or we put others before ourselves. All this usually leaves me-time last and unchecked on our agenda. And in some cases, we even feel guilty about taking the time required to take care of ourselves. That being said, we must recognize the need for self-care (use this self-reflection to recognize where specifically you are lacking self-care). Implementing the following strategies into your regular routine will boost your well-being not only today but forever.

To best explain self-care strategies to my clients, over the years I have created a self-care triangle. Triangles represent stability, balance, enlightenment, and the union of the mind, body, and heart. Sounds awesome already!

Each corner represents a different aspect you must focus on (all part of your “me-time”), each as important as the other, and without one the triangle is left incomplete, meaning your care is left incomplete.

Move

Physical activity stimulates your brain, boosting your positive emotions and reducing your stress and anxiety. Leaving you feeling more energetic, happier, and relaxed. To name a few activities: yoga, walking, jogging, running, cycling, weightlifting, following a workout routine, and swimming. The exercise you choose depends fully on you, listen to your body, do what seems fun and change it up. Maybe sometimes you want to exercise outside, with a friend, in the morning, before bed, following an instructor, listening to music or in quiet.

Rest

Learn to say enough to your work and responsibilities so you can devote 7-8 hours of your night to sleep. But more importantly, this is not just 8 hours of laying in bed, rather good quality of sleep. In order to get good quality sleep, make it your priority, follow a consistent sleep routine, avoid media and devices at least one hour before bedtime, try to resolve conflict and stress before your sleep hours, and create a cozy and relaxing ritual that you can look forward to. Along with dedicated sleep hours, allow yourself to take breaks throughout the day when required. Listen to your mind and body and give it what it needs.

Feed

Remember your food is your fuel. If you want to have energy, feel good, and have an optimistic look at life, good nutrition is key. Try to pack your meals with all the vitamins, minerals and nutrients required but also have fun with your meals. You can try cooking with your family, learning new recipes, and making your dishes colorful. To learn more about nutrition, visit this website.

In the lines that lead to those specified “me-times” practice the following strategies throughout your day, to check-in, reflect, be mindful and rejuvenate:

Learn to say “no”. While you may feel obligated to say yes to your loved ones or coworkers, you must also conserve your energy and time for self-care, or else it can lead to irritability and burnout.
Get a journal and dedicate it to your emotions and feelings.
- Make lists and write down what is bothering you. And then analyze each item and reflect on what is in your control, act on things that are in your control, and let go of things that are not.
- Make a list of things you are grateful for.
- Write down all your goals and things you wish for.
Take deep breaths. Close your eyes, breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to notice the sensation of the air flowing in and out.
Even better, use the 3-step coping strategy: take a few deep breaths, drink water, go to the washroom.
Meditate
Stay in the present
Listen to your heart and abide by its needs.

I really hope that you find these strategies useful. Remember that your awesome, you have needs and you are important, so take care of yourself!

If you have any questions or would like more personalized strategies and help, feel free to contact us.

Do You Love Yourself?

When you love yourself, you are more likely to be happy and enjoy life. Because you feel happy in yourself, you are not always striving to do more. You become satisfied with your work, your beliefs, and your capabilities. When you do want to learn something new or improve a skill it’s not for anyone else it’s for your contentment. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first. Making you more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well.

…one way to love yourself is through SELF-CARE.

What is self-care?

The name says it all, caring for yourself. This care can be categorized into 4 dimensions, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Try to look within and reflect as you read the following.

Physical Care: Encompasses 3 main aspects: food, sleep, and physical activity. For 16 hours of the day, we are awake, so to have the energy for those 16 hours, it’s pertinent we provide ourselves with meals, rest, and activity that boosts our energy, mood, and wellness.

Am I dividing my food properly? Am I nurturing myself with meals that promote good health? Am I eating a filling breakfast that gives me the proper boost of nutrients and energy to begin my day? Am I getting 7-8 hours of sleep? Am I exercising for at least 30 minutes? Have I found an activity (yoga, long walks, dance, treadmill, workouts, swimming…) that I enjoy and benefit from?

Mental Care:

Am I having more negative thoughts? Am I more agitable? Am I unable to concentrate? Am I getting frustrated? Am I getting anxious? Am I unable to manage the duties of my day?

Emotional Care: This is related slightly to mental care but focuses more on emotions.

Are you able to feel your emotions? Are you able to manage your emotions?

Spiritual Care:

Are you able to connect with your inner voice? Are you able to find meaning and purpose in your life? Are you able to feel a sense of belonging? Are you able to feel hope, peace, and gratitude?

We have so many responsibilities each day, waking up the kids, getting ready for work, getting the meals prepared, going to work, dropping the kids at school, monitoring their studies, cleaning the house, and spending time with family. But in how many of these tasks are helping with my care, once again going back to the 4 dimensions. In all the duties and tasks of the day, how am I taking care of my physical health? Of my emotional health? Of my mental health? And lastly of my spiritual health?

If you said no to a lot of the reflection questions above, do not freight.

Learn some ways from a professional to take better care of yourself. If you have any questions or feel you need more personalized care, do not hesitate to contact us.

Your care is important, and we are here to help you!

4 Steps to Strong Communication

Steps to Strong Communication for

A Strong Relationship

Tone speaks more than words!

Imagine getting your favorite flavored cake, but the icing was just disturbingly unappealing, you wouldn’t even want to cut into the cake and try it? Right? So even though we should all live by that quote “never judge a book by its cover”, it’s quite difficult to decipher words from the tone they are wrapped up in. Because tone is the sound of our emotions.

But while it seems simple to be able to control our tone, it takes a lot of conscious efforts as the tone of voice often conveys more accurately what we are feeling and what is on our mind, than our actual words do. In other words, our tone tells the truth even when our words do not, even when we are unaware of that truth ourselves. Unfortunately, the tone is what others respond to first. Reflect: Have you ever said “I love you” in a frustrated manner that provokes bitterness and then innocently wonder why you are being repelled and unfairly attacked by the person to whom you’ve said it too. quite rightly responds to our tone rather than our words. And this happens often and is seriously damaging your relationships. Therefore, while we speak, it is incredibly important to listen to our voice, so that we are able to monitor our tone and adjust it to get our point across. Also, be authentic with your words, so if you are mad, use your words to convey that message, rather than saying nice things while your tone tries to push out your real emotions.

Your choice of words can make all the difference!

Small adjustments in your choice of words from negative to positive can make all the difference in the response you are likely to get.

Consider this: You work hard to cook a meal, but you added a bit less salt, making the dish slightly bland. What response would you prefer?

“Eeewww, that is disgusting!”

“Thanks for your hard work in preparing this dish, but I feel if you added more salt it would have tasted better”

You probably prefer the second phrase, right? Now, what is the difference? The difference is in the words!

Pay attention to body language, it makes a point…

Body language is the use of physical behavior, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate nonverbally, often done instinctively rather than consciously. The way you sit, the way you tilt your head, and the way you fold your arms all communicate strong messages. They can either put people at ease, build trust, display love, and draw others towards you, or they can attack, offend, confuse, and undermine the message you are trying to convey. For example, if you are trying to make someone feel better, rather than have your arms crossed and sitting at the other corner of the room, you may want to hold their hand, look them in the eye and tilt your head to show feelings of compassion and care.

Stop the words and bring out the ears…

Apart from the way listening makes the other person feel, it is as pertinent for you in understanding their part of the conversation. Effective listening can mitigate misunderstandings and confusion. Remember that listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing just refers to the sound entering your ears, so just the physical process that happens automatically. But listening is more than that, it calls for both focus and effort. Listening is indeed paying attention to what is being said, but also the way it is being said. Going back to the tone of voice, vocabulary, and body language discussed above, while you listen you must pay attention to these 3 things and analyze the underlying meaning. For example, by analyzing one’s body language you can pick up on negative cues that they may be hiding or may even be unaware of while they speak. These negative cues can include crossed arms, poor eye contact, tense facial expressions, and a body turned away from you. Also as mentioned above, our tone of voice conveys what we are actually feeling, and so Being able to demonstrate that you have picked up on these cues and then reciprocate them with appropriate gestures, the other person truly feels that you are indeed listening, quite intuitively strengthening your relationship.

9 Practical Steps To Think Positively

You want to be positive; I want you to be positive, the world NEEDS you to be positive! It is not as simple as just “Try to look for the goods in each situation”, BUT it IS possible. With conscious efforts on your thoughts, words, and actions you CAN change your mindset.

Here are 9 practical steps to think positive thoughts.

Look at situations from different angles

Solely having a one-dimensional perspective of the world around us can give us a false sense of priorities and self-pride. Looking at situations from different perspectives allows us to see the whole picture, enables us to understand others’ points of view, and be more compassionate. This shift in lens helps us gain deeper insights and deeper happiness.

Be grateful

By practicing gratitude and reminding ourselves of things to be thankful for we are continuously reflecting upon the blessings in our life, so even when we are dealing with tough situations and bad days, we are reminded of the great things.

Find solutions rather than whine about the problems

Remember that we are in control of the choices we make, even in the worst of situations: we can be stressed out and constantly worrying, or we can assess the situation and determine a plan of action.

Choose positive words over negative words

The power of words is that they have the power to heal, to hurt, to help, to hinder, to harm, or to humble. The change and emotion we want to manifest lies in the words we choose to use. So, putting in the effort of switching out more positive words for negative ones can surely uplift our mood and help us create more positive perceptions.

Notice the positive characteristics in others

Due to the brain’s “negativity bias” we are more likely to notice the bad attributes of others, so the parts that annoy, worry, and hurt us. But finding and complimenting the positives of other people indeed helps others feel happier, but also helps us be happier, confident, and re-wires our mind to constantly look for the positives.

Write down negative thoughts

A huge part of instilling a positive mindset involves facing the negative thoughts and not just ignoring them with a smile on our face. Writing down our negative thoughts is a tangible way of answering our negative thoughts and getting rid of them through a practical and cathartic approach.

Be kind

We often get so absorbed in the miseries and mistreatments of our own lives that we forget to take the time to look around us. It’s important that we spend a little time brightening someone’s day, beginning the ripple of kindness and positivity in the world that we sometimes are unable to see and feel. Be the one to begin that change. Even a small act of kinds can create a chain of positivity, for us and the receiver.

Savor the moments and feel life.

Feel the air go into your lungs as you breathe, feel your muscles engage as you use them, feel the ground as you step, hear the birds sing, feel the rain drops fall on your face, and watch the people laugh around you. When we are so aware and present with the world around us, we are noticing and appreciating the beauty around us and feel happier.

Reflect on your good and bad days

By reflecting on our days we are able to once again appreciate all the things that went well, and allows us to check in with ourselves and monitor how positive and optimistic we were when the hurdles came up.

Hope this list was helpful! For more information feel free to contact us!

What Is Positivity?

To begin, I would like to clear out some common myths about positivity so that you are able to truly foster a positive attitude that actually helps you surpass the many challenges that roll up in your life and can help you lead a meaningful and fulfilling life.

First, positivity is not about always smiling and being cheery. Positive thinking is not about always laughing and being upbeat, because sadness and anger are a natural part of human emotions, rather a positive mindset is a tool that helps you look for the hope and better aspects of situations so that you are able to cope and deal more easily with tough situations.

In relation to the point above, it is important to conquer the myth that “positivity solves nothing, it is just a distraction” Because of the way positivity is displayed as a never-ending smile, no wonder people think positivity is phony and fake. It must be understood that positivity is not about covering up our problems and struggles by over-exaggerating the good point. Real positive thinking is rather reframing our perspective to gain a clearer view of the events in front of us so that you are able to take action rationally and responsibly for the better.

Thirdly, positivity is not a shield that will protect you from bad things. Many people gave up trying to be positive because they had this misconception that positive thinking would take away all their worries. Positive thinking helps you remain dedicated and optimistic when under the dark clouds but in no way can promise that the dark clouds will never appear because evidently, we have no control over the way this world works. Positive thinking provides us with the willingness to use coping skills during such hardships and times of stress.

Misinformation can truly blind us to life’s most important truths and experiences, so hopefully, by busting these myths and giving answers to common misconceptions you were able to better understand what positivity means and are eager to foster into your perspective. Positivity is the act of training your brain to think and respond to situations optimistically and calmly. It does indeed seem flaky and simple, but this is once again something we do, and rightfully so, takes time and conscious effort every day. But the rewards are certainly worth it.

Perhaps you need some more reasons to think positively, well here goes…

The Mayo Clinic even shares that researchers are continuously exploring the effects of positive thinking on our health; some proven health benefits of positive thinking include:

Increased life span
Lower rates of depression
Lower levels of distress
Greater resistance to the common cold
Better psychological and physical well-being
Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease

Here is some more rewarding news: People with a family history of heart disease who also had a positive outlook were one-third less likely to have a heart attack or other cardiovascular event within five to 25 years than those with a more negative outlook, concluded a finding from Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek, M.P.H.